22 Things a Woman with Asperger's Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know

Product Information

If you feel your spouse/partner may have Aspergers, I highly recommend this book. It may have you feeling a bit down, however, you will have a piece of the puzzle as to why he acts the way he does. Sending much love and strength to all with Aspergers and their partners.

Many girls get driven around, waited on, have schoolwork done for them – some parents have even tried to negotiate their first jobs — and young women are left without the muscle to do what they can actually do for themselves. They are left doubting their abilities and their judgment and fear trying something on their own. When you have mastered these capabilities, own them. Be all that you are capable of being and be proud of the woman you've become. You'll feel great about yourself and ultimately live a healthier, happier, more fulfilling and empowered life. I would say ‘love yourself as much as you love him’. He’s going to have so many wonderful qualities (because people with Aspergers do!) that you will fall in love with. He will also seem vulnerable in many ways and because women are caretakers you’re going to have this tendency to be motherly and to sometimes ignore your own needs–this applies to AS women as well because we tend to do the same stuff. Love yourself as much as you love him –that’s the advice my own man gave me.To those untrained and inexperienced in relating with those on the Spectrum, this book as frank as it's written may very well scare some women off from dating those with AS (Asperger's Syndrome). So that was a concern I had as a reader...how this book as blunt and frank as it is...rather doesn't balance it quite enough with the positives, even though in each chapter there is a deliberate section called "Positive". One thing is certain in this life: change. But it is how change is managed that can be the difference between surviving and thriving. When you've grasped the concepts of managing change, life is easier for you and those around you.

As an autistic man myself, I did enjoy reading this book and it did raise a few valid points in my mind in regards to my marriage. It's interesting to hear about potential shortcomings from an external point of view. Imagine the sense of relief you would feel performing the Heimlich maneuver on your choking dinner guest or diving into a pool to save a drowning child! First aid and water safety skills are critical and lifesaving — and you never know when you might need them. If you could only give one piece of advice to women in a relationship with a man with Asperger syndrome what would it be? Loosen up, don't take yourself so seriously all the time and learn to have fun (yes, some people actually have to learn how). Humor has a way of diffusing a tense situation, like when your kids are driving you crazy. A well-timed, appropriate joke can build rapport in the office, too. If you can master this, you can make life a whole lot more enjoyable. 16. Socializing skills. I would also suggest it's appropriate for platonic friendships with those on the Spectrum as well as family members and coworkers in its broadly-relevant themes excluding the sexuality aspects. Just good, solid advice to look to and anticipate. Even for those professionally trained to work with those on the Spectrum, an excellent refresher.After reading the book and going through some of the events mentioned in this book as typical and accurate, I felt it helpful guidance and highly recommend it especially at the beginning of a relationship.

Everyone should learn how to get through an emergency. Create a fire escape plan and know what to do in the event of an environmental disaster. 6. Goal-setting skills. These women and girls are missing out on real life that is often messy, sometimes scary and includes stuff that frankly you don’t always want to do. And missing out on a whole world of possibilities -- and pride. To build rapport and trust, you need to listen to what someone is not saying, as well as listening with your whole being. There is a science to learning body language and it can give you an advantage in your personal and business relationships — not to mention keeping you safe. Actually, many of the things described do not fit my man. Maybe he is not AS. Many of them do fit me. Maybe I am AS. Or maybe the book is so vague it is useless.After I finished it, I did some research online, and the author actually has Asperger's syndrome, too. This made me rethink most of my criticisms of this book. What I took for depression and a bad marriage was actually just the overly severe and compartmentalized way that Aspies can describe things. This book will help women to understand the male Asperger's mind and, equally, it can help men with AS to see things from their partner's perspective. It will also be of interest to counsellors working with couples where the male partner has Asperger's Syndrome. Parenting styles have also shifted to the point where parents are so afraid of the media-inflated dangers in the world that they suspend reality for their kids. And they have particular fears for their daughters. It's very informative, and covers a ton of good information. Here are some examples of the 22 points: "There will probably be no public displays of affection," "He will take you and the relationship for granted," "There will be times when he embarrasses you," and "People will tell you he's just being a man." The topics hard to read, but they're important to read. From an unwillingness to show affection in public or even sleep in the same bed to problems holding down a job, this book looks at 22 common traits that women may discover when they are dating, living with or married to a man with Asperger's Syndrome. Rudy Simone explores the complications of Asperger's relationships with honesty and understanding, drawing on research and personal experience to inform and advise women with AS partners. She offers helpful tips for improving the relationship and finding fulfillment both individually and as a couple.

It's an interesting premise, but it unfortunately falls a bit flat and misses the mark on quite a few points in my opinion. The author comes off a bit pessimistic, harsh and disrespectful at times, but at the same time you can see where this might be coming from. An increasingly important skill is emotional intelligence. At the cornerstone of this is self-awareness. To be emotionally intelligent is to be able to recognize, understand and manage your own emotions and to be in tune with others' emotions and to act with compassion. Very valuable information for any woman in any type of romantic relationship with a man who has Asperger's Syndrome (AS). Really wish I'd gotten my hands on this sooner (well, honestly, I bought it a few years ago and have just now gotten around to reading it) because I really was feeling very alone with a lot of the struggles that my husband (who has AS) and I were having. Granted, not all of the topics covered in this book apply to me/my husband -- for example, the chapter on lying. In my experience (mostly with kids who are on the spectrum, but also in the years spent with my husband -- 11 years of relationship, the latter 7 years we've been married) people with AS are more often brutally honest. You don't have to be Martha Stewart, but you do need to know your way around the kitchen so that you can whip a balanced meal for yourself. Create some signature dishes and impress your friends (and you!). You also need to know the basics of serving and storing food, so you don’t poison anyone by mistake! A look at how to overcome common difficulties and maintain a loving relationship with an AS partner.

8.  Communication skills.

No matter what life throws your way, be ready for anything, with these 21 skills that EVERY woman should have: 1. Financial skills. I am inspired by the people that I talk to all the time that have ASDs. They inspire me when they’re down because I want to help them and I can’t rest until I’ve made some kind of difference in the world. They inspire me when they’re thriving and successful; that gives me hope, because I too still struggle daily with trying to get along in this world. So we’re all in this together, pulling each other up. There’s a wonderful burgeoning sense of community in the world of ASDs which is amazing because of the isolation inherent in autism. Rudy Simone is the author of 22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger’s Syndrome. Rudy Simone is a writer and Asperger’s Syndrome educator who lives in Western New York. Whether you enjoy it or fear it, you can't get by without small talk. Introduce yourself with confidence at an interview, at a dinner party, at a business conference. Make a great first impression, but most important, demonstrate your interest in the other person.